Self-harm is often misunderstood as a bid for attention, when in reality it's usually the opposite — a private way of coping with emotional pain that feels too overwhelming to manage any other way. Whether it involves a teen, a young adult, or someone who has struggled with this for years, self-harm deserves compassionate, non-judgmental clinical support.
What Self-Harm Often Represents
- A way of releasing or expressing emotional pain that feels otherwise unspeakable
- An attempt to feel something when a person feels emotionally numb, or needs to reduce the intensity of current emotions
- A way to regain a sense of control when everything else feels out of control
- A coping mechanism, often connected to underlying depression, anxiety, or trauma
If you have found yourself feeling like you "can't do anything," feeling like giving up, or searching in a difficult moment for someone to talk to, I want you to know that support exists — and reaching out for it is not a small thing to do. It matters.
Why Self-Harm Needs Real Support, Not Just Willpower
Self-harm is frequently a symptom of deeper emotional pain that hasn't yet found a safer outlet. Simply asking someone to "just stop" rarely works, because it doesn't address what the behavior is actually serving. Real change requires understanding the emotional need underneath and building healthier ways to meet it. While self-harm does make someone feel different, it fails in that the person isn’t able to address and resolve the emotions which contributed to the self-harm.
How I Approach Treatment
My work with individuals who self-harm focuses on understanding the emotional pain and patterns driving the behavior, building safer and healthier coping tools, and addressing any underlying depression, anxiety, or trauma. When working with teens, I also involve parents in a way that supports connection rather than fear or punishment.
If you or someone you love is struggling with self-harm, please reach out for support. If you are in crisis right now, you can call or text 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, available 24/7. You don't have to carry this alone, and things can get better.