Even transitions we choose — a new job, a move, becoming a parent, retirement — can disrupt a person's sense of stability. Add in transitions we don't choose, like a health crisis or an unexpected loss, and it's no wonder major life changes are one of the most common reasons people seek support.
What Life Transitions Often Involve
- Loss of a familiar routine or identity
- Uncertainty about the future
- Grief for what's being left behind, even when the change is positive
- Relationship strain as roles and dynamics shift
- A sense of being unmoored or "not myself" during the adjustment period
When we don’t understand a healthy approach to transition, we are likely to rely on historical or dysfunctional methods of navigating the transition. I enjoy working with clients to help them understand that the first phase of a transition is understanding that change is imminent, the second stage is where things are undefined, and the final stage is establishing the new adjustment.
Why Transitions Hit Harder Than Expected
Responding to transitions are always challenging. We typically find comfort in predictability, and as such, are usually relying on attenuating feedback loops in our life, meaning, we attempt to maintain no change or deviation from our established daily experience. Transitions are especially difficult when we have to adjust in ways in which we have never experienced before. Without a schema for the change (meaning a mental map from our experience), we must experiment until we find what works, which typically requires a process of trial and error before we discover what works in each particular situation.
How I Approach This Work
My work with individuals, couples and families navigating life transitions focuses on processing what's being left behind, building clarity about what's ahead, and developing the tools to move through the transition rather than getting stuck in it.
If you or someone you know is in the middle of a major transition and feeling unsteady, I would be glad to help you find solid ground again.